Stop Hating Yourself

Flat Stomach

Fat, Thin, Obese, Skinny, Heavy, Lean, Toned, Apple, Pear, Hourglass, Proportioned, Curvy, Ectomorph, Pencil, Ripped, Chubby, Shredded, Overweight, Fluffy, Underweight, Endomorph,

These are all words used to describe the physical body. But words somehow have a magical power to seep beneath the skin they describe and permeate the heart that lies within. These words take over your identity and destroy the bond you are meant to have with your body.

This bond that is lost is forged from shared experiences. Your body has done a lot for you and yet how often is it the bane of your existence or something that is in constant need of fixing or changing?

So you set out to change your body into something you deem worthy of love and appreciation. You reduce the amount of food you eat and restrict what little food you do eat. You force yourself to exercise, whether it be at a gym or watching someone with The Body on a DVD. You drink more water and tell yourself youre not hungry.

The first few days arent so bad. You notice your stomach is a little flatter and the scale may even tell you that the three numbers you define yourself with have gone down ever so slightly. Then comes day five. You miss carbs and you hate the treadmill. But, you believe that this is way to transform your body and fulfill your dream of finally being happy enough with it to bare your arms in a sleeveless shirt.

Your soul begins to mourn your imprisonment and voices fill your head. Cravings surface and your sleep suffers. You cant take the pressure of perfection and so you cheat and have something you shouldnt. You cave. It tastes sooooo good.or does it?

Then, the soul crushing, heart racing, stomach tightening guilt sets in. Why did you fail? Why is it so hard for you? Why are other people thin and doing it? Why cant you stick to _____ program?

You feel so bad that the cycle continues and you bury the feelings of shame with more junk which makes you feel physically sick. You avoid the gym or your trainer for fear that they will condemn you or judge you for your supposed lack of willpower. If only you were stronger.

Now you decide you can finally do it. You feel so bad (and your pants feel so tight) that you decide with this new program you can get back on track! And for a few days you do good. You do all of your workouts and log the miles on the treadmill (even though your body aches from walking on plastic). You treat yourself with a reward of food which triggers the cravings and on the cycle goes.

Friends, this is no way to live. The constant comparison to friends, strangers, co-workers- anyone! The endless feeling of not being good enough, fit enough, lean enough- Not Enough. The inner longing for something that is deeper than what you can see in the mirror or touch with your hands.

A diet will not fulfill you. A program will not save you. A new gym membership will not redeem you.

It must start with loving yourself as your family, friends and those you strive to please. If you are not happy and loving yourself now, you will not love yourself 20 pounds from now. There has to be a change beneath the surface in your tender and precious heart. A healing has to occur. An outpouring of joy. A peace that passes understanding. A new sense of identity. You are not the choices that you make.

You were meant for so much more- have you lost yourself in the fast paced world that surrounds you? Are you going through the motions and avoiding the feelings you are afraid to feel? Are you stuck in a trap of constant fixing and loathing?

If this is you, you need to know there is help. There is a chance to find peace and to celebrate all that is you! If this strikes a chord inside of you and brings a tear to your eye, dont wait! Reach out! Please do not waste another moment longing for what will only destroy you.

I am extending a personal invitation to reach out and get some guidance as to what the next steps look like for you. No hidden agenda. No sales pitch. Just support, ideas and resources.

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The Comeback Post: A Message To Those Who Are Ready to Give Up

Almost a year ago, a few of my close friends decided that my talking about depression and other personal struggles on FB, my blog or anywhere else for that matter was embarrassing them and my truth was causing them discomfort. They were doubtful of how much I was really struggling because there was no way I could be smiling and laughing one day with them and struggling the next day. There was no way I could be having suicidal thoughts because if I was suicidal, I would’ve gone ahead and done it already. According to them, people who are depressed shouldn’t talk about it publicly. Continue reading →

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